Wednesday 29 August 2007

Overcome Belief Barriers to Unconditional Love, Giving and Social Acceptance

While on the road of self-improvement I discover many beliefs of mine that do not help me achieve what I would like to. Some of the most intriguing limiting beliefs that I have are my beliefs about what would happen if I changed certain beliefs. The challenge is that changing these beliefs is the next step towards achieving some of my goals, but part of me still fears that if I adopt them then they will be very damaging to my life. I have listed three beliefs that I believe I am most likely to share with other people below:

Belief 1
If I condition myself to always feel socially accepted then I will lose my sensory acuity to how people react to my actions and I will behave in a way that will cause me to have less social acceptance.

This belief is flawed, because social acceptance is an internal state of which I am in control, so if I condition myself to always feel it then I cannot not feel socially accepted. It is also foolish to assume that, because I feel socially accepted means that I will act in a way that will drive people away from me. If anything I will make more friends and be accepted more, because I will feel more comfortable around people.

Belief 2
If I love someone unconditionally I could potentially experience massive amounts of hurt if rejected.

This belief is limiting, because having it causes me to appreciate life much less than if I love unconditionally, even if I do get rejected I will still be living a more enriched life. The real challenge with this belief is realising that I will experience more pain in the long run if I don't love unconditionally.

Belief 3
If I give unconditionally then people will take and take and I will eventually have nothing left.

This belief is flawed because the world works in a way that if you give from your heart you will receive in return and, if done correctly, adding value to people is frequently rewarded in monetary form. Furthermore, once giving unconditionally the true joy in life comes from giving and a scarcity mentality is no longer relevant.

I think beliefs like these are so common because they all at some point require a leap of faith to adopt. In a way they are also a barrier to another way of thinking. Once you adopt the beliefs your world changes and all the doubts you had before are no longer relevant. For example, once you are loving someone unconditionally you no longer fear rejection from them, because what makes you happy is seeing them happy. The difference is that your focus is no longer on yourself.

In order to have the courage to take the leap of faith and adopt these beliefs I feel that a certain level of personal growth is required. I still believe, however, that the best thing a person can do is to look through any beliefs like this and pick them apart like I have above. As you continue to chip away at your limiting beliefs you will eventually experience an epiphany that will cause you to transition to the more resourceful belief and way of thinking.